


Lay To Rest

by DGCatAniSiri



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Akuze, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:39:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9064513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: Shepard returns to Akuze.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Utilizes backstory elements introduced in "[Survivor](http://www.http://archiveofourown.org/works/1828444)," but that's not required before reading this.

The shuttle was a civilian model, one that wasn’t exactly top of the line, but it would do the job. Shepard had rented it under an alias, not wanting ‘Commander Shepard’ listed on any flight plan or itinerary. Not for this.

“You know, I think I was expecting it to look more... desolate,” came the voice from the copilot’s seat. 

Shepard nodded. “I know what you mean. When I think about it, I think of it as... an empty desert. Barren. A wasteland.” It should be a place of death. In Shepard’s mind, it always would be, no matter what colony system built up around it.

Akuze grew in the window before them.

Since the slaughter of Shepard’s unit, the planet had undergone some terraforming, attempts at making the planet habitable outside of prefab facilities. As much as Shepard knew that, no matter what was done to the planet, he would view it as nothing but a place of death, a part of him did marvel at what had been done to make the place more hospitable to life. 

It didn’t change anything for him, but he could marvel at the way the colonists had built the colony up after... after what had happened.

There was still the single colony site, but there were patches of blue, indicating surface water had been drawn up, lakes created where there hadn’t been anything before. It was still preliminary stages, of course, where humans could only handle living without protection for moderate periods of time, at least if they were in good health. It was, overall, an improvement from the last time Shepard had been here.

Pity that it was this particular planet.

As Shepard punched in the landing coordinates, Kaidan looked to him. He took in Shepard’s paleness, the way he gripped the console, the unrelenting stare at the planet coming closer. “Shepard?” he asked, reaching out and gently laying his hand on Shepard’s shoulder. “Shepard, if you have trouble with this, we can-”

“I’ll be fine,” Shepard cut him off. “I... I need to.”

Though he looked a little uncertain about it, Kaidan nodded, acknowledging he’d follow Shepard’s lead on this. This was his mission, for lack of a better term. “Alright. But if it gets to be too much...” Kaidan didn’t know what exactly he should do under those circumstances, but that was why he was there for Shepard, why he’d insisted that Shepard not do this alone. 

“Thank you, Kaidan.”

***

It probably shouldn’t have been as easy as it was to bypass the central colony and head for the site of the thresher ambush. But anonymity was the point of this trip, so Shepard bypassing the procedures to head there wasn’t all that surprising for Kaidan. He probably hadn’t used his Spectre authority – that would have likely given him away, given that he was probably the only Spectre who had any kind of inclination to even visit Akuze. It would have been a giveaway to anyone who wanted to get a glimpse of Shepard, and even if he weren’t the Hero of the Citadel, Shepard was something of a local celebrity here, given his survival of the thresher ambush.

Aside from a monument that had been erected to memorialize the lives lost, the site had been left alone. Interestingly, it was almost as if the terraforming efforts just wouldn’t touch this area. Kaidan idly wondered if it had something to do with the thresher maw acid, some compound or something. But this wasn’t a time for scientific inquiries. 

When Shepard set foot out of the shuttle, it was like stepping back into that time and place years before. Shepard knew he was imagining it, but he was struck by the scent of blood and burned flesh. He could picture the bodies of his unit – his friends – laid out on the ground before him. The thresher maw’s claw or tentacle had sliced through the tank like the Grim Reaper’s blade. The unit had been scattered, his companions dead or dying-

“Shepard?”

Kaidan’s voice pulled him back to the moment. He looked back to the other man, thankful he’d asked him to come back here with him. Shepard took a steadying breath.

“I’m all right.” Stretching the truth a little, but Kaidan let him. This wasn’t really something where ‘all right’ as it was normally used applied. 

The memorial was a bronzed statue of a Grizzly tank and a listing of the dead on a plaque underneath it. It was alone in the center of the desolate patch of land, making it stand in stark contrast. 

Shepard approached the memorial, running his fingers over the names on the plaque. As he felt the letters, faces flashed in his mind. He held over a handful of names, those who’d been in the tank with him as they’d been hit by the thresher. Lindsey Ellis. Fernando Calvo. Leah Brody. Takeru Cohen. Alonso Willis. 

And then he paused.

Marco Toombs. 

He’d thought Toombs had died here. Instead, Cerberus had taken him, kidnapped him, tortured him, held him for years... Until he’d escaped, having apparently used the chaos created by Shepard’s earliest investigations into the organization to make a break for it. He’d sought out the scientists responsible for what had happened, and Shepard had found him as he’d reached the final scientist.

And Shepard hadn’t managed to talk him down. 

“The vids say you were the only survivor. Who am I to argue?” A gunshot, fired off too quick for Shepard or any of the others to stop him. Toombs’s – Marco’s - body crumpling to the floor.

Again, Kaidan grounded him again, pulling him out of the memories. Kaidan had placed his hand on Shepard’s back, bringing him out of that particular headspace. 

Shepard took a breath, remembering why they were here in the first place. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small vial.

The vial held some of Marco’s ashes.

Marco had left instructions in the event of his death. He’d wanted cremation. Shepard recalled he’d once remarked that he had no interest of rotting in the ground. Shepard had brought his body back to his family, allowing them the closure of having a body to say goodbye to, and requested to spread some of his ashes here on Akuze.

Many of the bodies of their unit had been beyond recovery. Either acid damage had burned them down to the bone, melted and fused them to the ruined tanks, or had fallen into the holes the burrowing thresher maw had left, which were too acidic for anything to last. It was why no one had thought anything of Marco’s absence from the aftermath. 

If there were any peace to be found for him, as horrific as this place might be, Shepard felt that any restless spirits here would welcome the company. And for a man who’d spent years locked in a Cerberus lab... Shepard didn’t think that he should be alone in death.

Steadying himself, Shepard took a look around the site. He could see nothing aside from the memorial that indicated the slaughter had occurred – what could be recovered had been reclaimed years ago, and with the shifting winds of time, any evidence that remained had been blown away or buried as well.

And maybe that would be for the best. This place felt like hallowed ground, a place that should be respected, but it was also a raw wound. Something that Shepard wanted to see left alone, left alone. The memorial was disturbance enough. Honor to the fallen, but respect to the dead.

“I’m sorry, Marco. I wish... I wish I could have saved all of you. I failed you twice.”

“Don’t do that, Shepard.” Kaidan said, a reminder that he wasn’t here alone. “You can’t think that they would have wanted you to give up your life in an effort to appease some angry ghosts. Ghosts that are only in your head.”

Kaidan was always there to offer grounding, in both his touch and his words. He was right, of course. All of his friends who were listed on the memorial plaque wouldn’t want him to have given his life now, not even if it could bring them back. 

“You’re right. I just... I wish there was something I could have done. For all of them.” Not being able to help Marco stung still, that he’d been so thrown off at seeing someone he’d thought was dead for years, he couldn’t think straight, couldn’t think of what it would take to get him to lower his gun, be ready to try to live again, someday. 

He looked back to the vial in his hand. Gently, he removed the lid and looked to the memorial. “I don’t know if you’re there, somehow, Marco. But... I wanted to let some part of you rejoin our friends. I hope you’re at peace. I hope you’re all at peace.” He tilted the vial and let the contents spill over the plaque of names. As if summoned by his act, a sudden gentle wind picked up, letting the ashes fly around the memorial as they fell.

When the vial was empty, Shepard took a step back, allowing the ashes to settle. He again took in the memorial, allowing the images of his unit, his friends, flash in his mind again. This time, at least, they remained as he wanted to remember them – alive, vibrant, smiling, whole.

Gently, he felt Kaidan taking his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Shepard turned to him, smiling. “Thank you, Kaidan. For... coming with me.”

“Of course, Shepard.”

He took another moment, feeling suddenly lighter than he had in some time. He let out a heavy breath and motioned to the shuttle. “I think we’re done here.”

With that, he began heading back to the shuttle, intending to leave Akuze in the past.


End file.
